Work With Your Partner’s Energetic Flow

Extatica Love Tips:
How to Connect More Deeply with Yourself, Your Lover and the Divine

Work With Your Partner’s Energetic Flow

Remember the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would want others to do unto you?” Well, let’s expand this a bit. Don’t do unto your partner exactly what you would want done unto you, but recognize and give your partner what he or she uniquely needs (which is what you would really want in return). This is the secret to alleviating much disharmony in the bedroom and moving toward mutual deep satisfaction in lovemaking. The differences in the flow of masculine and feminine sexual energy typically call for a different approach to making love with your partner than you might prefer for yourself.

For example, those with feminine, or yin, sexual essence (regardless of gender) rarely respond well to initial sexual contact directed to the breasts or genitals. In fact, a “direct hit” may be a total turn-off.

Her energy trickles down like water and moves and warms much more slowly than masculine types, which is why women tend to need more emotional and physical foreplay to get really hot and juicy for sex. She needs time for the energy to be drawn away from her mind toward her heart and then her genitals. You might begin with words of appreciation and affection or offering some unexpected assistance (like drawing her a warm bath) to connect with her heart. Continue with caresses and kisses, starting with the extremities (the hands, feet, hair, neck, face and lips,), gradually working toward the core of her body. This approach will help her get out of her head, warm up, and open her body to you.

On the other hand, because their energy moves up like fire, masculine, or yang, types often respond favorably to direct sexual stimulation starting with visual eroticism (like seeing his partner from behind “inadvertently” bent over in front of him) or direct touch to the genitals. For many yang types, direct genital touch is all the foreplay they need or really want. But if a man’s energy stays in his genitals, although he may enjoy the sex and the release, his sexual energy doesn’t get a chance to circulate throughout his body and move up to his heart and brain where his love for his partner expands and connects with her. This is where true lovemaking begins for him.

So, once aroused, caressing a man upward and outward from his genitals to his chest, back, head, and extremities helps move his energy up and outward throughout his body which, in turn, helps him to feel his sexuality throughout his entire body. This also assists him in slowing down to better match his partner’s pace, allows his heart to open and facilitates his experience of full body orgasm.

When making love with yourself: Using the above information, explore and experiment with your own masculine and/or feminine sexual energy flow, taking the time to feel what arouses you and opens your heart.


“When you come to be sensibly touched, the scales will fall from your eyes; and by the penetrating eyes of love you will discern that which your other eyes will never see.”

– Francois Fenelon

Posted with permission by Ellen Eatough, M.A. “The Soulful Sex Coach”

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